Greyhound with Terminal Cancer

[michele]

Hi, I'm new to this forum stuff (and not very computer savvy) so apologies in advance for any breaches of protocol!

Our 8 year old girl, Bluebell, had one of her back legs amputated 5 months ago after developing bone cancer.  The vet warned us that the cancer would return though, probably to her lungs, and then that would be that.  She's coughing quite a bit now, so it looks as though the tumours have now reached her airways (in fact, she coughed up an actual tumour a couple of weeks ago), and although she still seems full of life I'm assuming it won't be much longer before she goes downhill.  But we have another greyhound, 7 year old Rufus, and I'm wondering what to do with regard to letting him know once she's gone.  Should we let him see her body so that he understands what's happened to her, or would that freak him out?  I'm worried that he'll be anxious if she just goes out for a ride in the car (to the vets) one day and doesn't return.  On the other hand, if he sees her body at the vets, will that make him not trust the vet any more?  I know it's going to be awful for all of us when the time comes, I just want to make it as easy as possible on him.

Thank you,
Michele

[suethejam]

Hi Michele

Oh my heart goes out to you - we lost our girl Lou to cancer (lymphoma) last year and it's such a difficult journey. We went up to 2+ hounds in 2006 and since then have lost four beloved hounds so I have some experience to offer - though that doesn't necessarily make me right!

We've had conflicting views about letting companion hounds "see" the body - our own vet doesn't think much of it, but my sister-in-law says it really makes the grieving process easier.

On the basis that it can't do any harm (both vets agree on that), we've let the companion hounds see and sniff their departed friends - they haven't made a big fuss - it's just a sniff and walk away, but afterwards they did seem to accept the loss a bit easier. When we lost Poppy last year, we let her long-time companion, Ollie, see her, and he didn't pine. We didn't take Ty, because he'd only lived with Poppy for a few months and he ran round and round the garden looking for her after she'd gone - it was totally heartbreaking.

So my advice is to let Rufus see her afterwards - if he reacts like ours did, it's not a big drama and they seem to accept it and don't go looking for the lost hound afterwards.

Good luck with it all and give your precious girl a hug from me - remember that when you say goodbye it's out of love and mercy - I've found that this thought relieves the guilt, but only time can make up for the loss :-(

[Deleted]

Michele.

My heart goes out to you. It's a very difficult when it's time to say goodbye to a loved greyhound and we tend to overlook, if we are not careful, the impact on their hound companions. I strongly agree in that you should consider letting Rufus say his 'goodbyes' as well. It's easy to underestimate the thought process and emotions of our guys but it's a reality that they too need to be part of the process.

I hope, when the time comes, that you have the support that you may need. Everyone here fully understands what you are, and will be, going through and we send all our love to you, especially Bluebell and Rufus. x

[patshep]

Hi Michele

You are in a situation I would not wish on anyone and I truly sympathise.

When my old lurcher died I let Molly my yorkie X see her, she sniffed her and it seemed as if she instinctively knew she was gone. When Fizz my first greyhound died, I let Molly see her friend, again she just accepted that she was gone. When Molly's turn came, I let Lily, my then new greyhound see her and she acted in exactly the same way. My girls have all died at home, whether they would react in the same way at the Vets, I don't know.

All I can say is be brave, be strong (easier said than done in the circumstances), for your girl and enjoy the time that you have left together.

Pat S

[michele]

Thank you everyone.  Mark (husband) and I are really touched by your kind words, and really grateful for the advice.  I'll let you know how Bluebell gets on.
Michele

[anthony1958]

Hi Michele

First off Lorraine and I send you all our love and light and know what you are going through.

Its the greatest joy when you adopt a hound and have them share your life as it seems to make it complete but it is the greatest upset and heart wrench when things go wrong. You would do anything if it were to make them whole again but sadly t doesn't work that way. The worst part of life is saying goodbye to a beloved hound. it is the last thing that we can do for them to take their suffering away and hold them  in our heart for always, meeting up again at the rainbow bridge in time to come. For the time we are here though it is important that you give Rufus  the chance to say his farewells. True some vets don't think much of it but it will help Rufus accept that bluebell has moved on and could well help him settle after the event. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I wish I had done it for our Fleur when we lost our dear boy Merlin to GME in June as she was ok but progressively became depressed over time, but that did lead us to the kennels and to Max (Idris) who she took a wile to accept after m but then with the addition of Tiger lily as well she is busy keeping everyone in order.

The point here is we all do our best for our hounds as they are our family so follow your feelings and help Rufus when the time comes anything that helps the hound left behind is a blessing. For you, if you need to chat please feel free to contact pat who will I am sure give you our phone number.

For now Bright blessings to all

you are not alone  everyone on the forum will be happy to help you through as will we

Anthony Lorraine Idris Fleur and Tiger-lily lewin xx

[michele]

Thank you so much, Anthony. Mark and I have been in tears reading all your kind and supportive words. Our vet is really nice, so I'm sure she won't object to Rufus saying his farewells when the time arrives. I sometimes wish we didn't love our dogs as much as we do! It would make saying goodbye so much easier to bear.

Thank you again,
Michele

[suethejam]

We had a disastrous year in 2012 when we lost three of our beloved hounds - one to a freak accident, one to the effects of neglect/starvation by a previous owner and one to cancer - I wondered whether I could keep a little bit aloof from my remaining hounds (Ty and Ollie) but that would be just plain wrong so I've given myself completely to them - even knowing the pain that may lie ahead (hopefully not this year, or next year, or....)

You're in my thoughts...

[sueb]

Michelle

So sorry you and your husband are going through this difficult time. Most of us on the forum have lost another dog somewhere along the line and know how painful it can be. It is because we love them so much when they are with us that we feel such sadness when they are gone, but there is comfort in knowing that we have given a hound a really good life, especially a rescue dog. So, you have already made a huge difference to their lives.

I've not had any direct experience of letting a dog see their pal after their death (we've never had 2 dogs before now) but I think others have given very good advice. It just seems logical to me that in seeing their departed friend, they will know they are no longer here and help avoid any restless pining and searching and for them to gain acceptance.

You're in everyone's thoughts

[sueb]

Michelle

So sorry you and your husband are going through this difficult time. Most of us on the forum have lost another dog somewhere along the line and know how painful it can be. It is because we love them so much when they are with us that we feel such sadness when they are gone, but there is comfort in knowing that we have given a hound a really good life, especially a rescue dog. So, you have already made a huge difference to their lives.

I've not had any direct experience of letting a dog see their pal after their death (we've never had 2 dogs before now) but I think others have given very good advice. It just seems logical to me that in seeing their departed friend, they will know they are no longer here and help avoid any restless pining and searching and for them to gain acceptance.

You're in everyone's thoughts

[michele]

Many thanks to all of you for your kind words of support.

I'm very sad to say that Bluebell was pts a few days ago.  Her health declined rapidly and she became so weak that it was hard for her to get up off her bed, although she still had a good appetite and, occasionally, a little wag of her tail for us.  Mark and I held and stroked her while the vet gave her the injection, and she seemed relaxed and peaceful.  Rufus was in the room too, being fed biscuits by a nurse, and after Bluebell had gone I called him over and tried to get him to look at her, but he wasn't interested. If anything, he pointedly ignored her.  The vet said that, in her experience, the surviving dog doesn't understand when the other has died, even if they sniff them, but I have a suspicion that Rufus did know and that was why he didn't want to even look at her.  

I'll end here as it's too painful to write more, but thank you again to everyone.  It's good to know that people care.

Michele

[suethejam]

Ah Michele, that's such sad news, but it sounds as if her passing was a peaceful and dignified as you could have hoped - and I think you did the right thing to take Rufus.

Your girl will be free of pain now and hopefully running free at the rainbow bridge with those that have gone before and who are waiting for us...

My thoughts are with you...

[patshep]

So very sorry to read your last post.

I know you must both feel devasted but take comfort in that Bluebell had a happy life with you, she is now free of pain and running free at Rainbow Bridge with all her greyhound pals.